Friday, September 26, 2008

What have we become

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a news buff. I have to know whats going on in the world. Call me a masochist but I don't care. Good news bad news it doesn't matter I need to know. People also know that I have been around the world and seen many of the worst things that this life can do to people (I admit I haven't been to Africa or seen the emperor penguins in the arctic) but nothing could have prepared me for the article that I read the other day on FoxNews.com. Here it is in all its glory. Read along with me and we can discuss it later.

Rescue Planned for Woman Trapped in Home by Giant Pig
Tuesday, September 23,
A huge pig called Bruce has trapped a terrified woman in her home in Australia.
Caroline Hayes, 63, tried to leave her house in Uki, New South Wales, to use the outdoor toilet, but the animal bit her and shoved her back inside.
Bruce, who is the size of a Shetland pony, showed up at her home 10 days ago after his owners were unable to cope with him and let him loose in the rain forest.
Hayes began feeding the beast, but he became more aggressive, demanding more food and biting her on the leg when she tried to go to the toilet.
Local rangers tried to rescue her but could not capture the huge animal.
The case has now been handed over to the Rural Lands Protection Board (RLPB), who have promised not to put the animal down.
Hayes told how she took pity on the beast, but it soon took over her home.
"When I found it, it had 15 ticks in its eyes which I actually took out," she said.
"One of its eyes it couldn't see out of, so I put cream in it, but apparently it's actually claimed my land and claimed my place
"It started getting very pushy, started pushing me around, so I started to get a bit frightened, until the stage that it started knocking on my door at 4 a.m., actually head-butting my door.”

First of all we need to understand just how big "Bruce" is. below is a picture of a shetland pony with accompanying rider.














According to the greatest source of true info on the planet Wikipedia a Shetland pony grows to between 28 to 42 inches in height and about 600 pounds. This is what a 600 pound pig looks like
That's a lot of bacon. Watch out mom the pig might eat your baby.
Its a big pig. I understand that it could push you around if it tried. The thing that caught my attention first of all was how this was another battered spouse story. She states that she started feeding it and it got more aggressive and demanded more. Then she states that it has claimed her space and her land. Did it go down to the municipal building and fill out the proper permits. This is ridiculous. Then there is the final sentence "It started getting very pushy, started pushing me around, so I started to get a bit frightened, until the stage that it started knocking on my door at 4 a.m., actually head-butting my door.” This woman is retarded she is scared of a freaking pig. Honestly get a butcher knife and use it. I big stick. Heck, start cooking some bacon for breakfast and it might just get the idea. The way I see it if 600 pounds of free bacon came knocking at my door at 4 o'clock in the morning it would be next to pancakes and eggs by six. When we as human beings cannot defend ourselves against obese, pushy, smelly pigs (domesticated) then we really deserve all we get in life. In the immortal words of my father in law "its time to grow some juevos rancheros" and show the pig who's boss.
Come to think of it I think a movie has been made about this incident. Granted Hollywood has taken some theatrical liberties but I knew that I had seen this before when I read the article. To set it up I believe this is Hollywoods version of the Rangers trying to capture the pig. Here is a clip.

Monday, September 1, 2008

I Have a Dream

I have a dream that one day I will rise up off the couch and live out the days that once were found in the crags of Utah: "I hold these truths to be self-evident: that all climbs are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the white granite trad climbs of Little Cottonwood the brown quartzite sport climbs of Big Cottonwood will be able to climbed and enjoyed at the table of brotherhood in all climbing circles.

I have a dream that one day even the city of moab, a city sweltering with the heat of summer, swarming with the mosquitos of the colorado, will be transformed into an oasis of Trad routes and Bouldering.

I have a dream that my future children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the routes that thy ascend but by the quality of their climbing.
I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Indian Creek, with the vicious BLM, with its State Directors having their lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification;
one day right there in Utah, Trad climbers and sport climbers will be able to join hands with boulderers and hikers as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.