Behold the Cheesus

You don't have to go far from your front porch to know that this world is spinning out of control. Every day there are random murders, inflation, foreclosures, drug abuse and a sure sign of things to come my in-laws have a dog that is afraid of their cat. Heck, this world is so bad my old next door neighbor had a dachshund (doxin for those of you that don't speak German) that was afraid of the outside of their apartment. They would bring it out to go on a walk and it would turn around and try to get back inside. Crazy you think. No, it was smart. Animals can always sense danger before humans. I missed a few days of work just because I would watch this small dog turn around and go back inside. I figured if the world was too bad for him on this day (all he has to do is eat, sleep and lick his butt) it must be too bad for me.

So where is one to turn in these troubled times of darkness. Who can we rely on for help to save us from the wickedness that has enveloped us. I bring you "The Cheesus."

Apparently a youth minister at Memorial Drive United Methodist Church in Texas found "The Cheesus" whilst rummaging for some tasty snacks. Just before his head was bitten off the likeness was found and now instead of winding up in the muck of the local septic refinery he now resides in a small glass box on the bookshelf. On second though maybe we shouldn't turn to this in times of need. I seem to remember a little known commandment that states "thou shalt have no other Gods before me." Alas "The Cheesus will fade into history just like "Mother Mary in Toast" or hopefully someone will come to their senses and help it fulfill the purpose of why God created it at eat it. Hopefully with its Deity like visual qualities it will fill your mouth with extra tastiness. Unless of course it is too old in which it will probably taste like a stale used sock. I think I'm going to go find something to eat. Talk to you later

No sooner than I start that I find this...

Taken from the official website of Lunesta

"Until you know how you'll react to Lunesta, you should not drive or operate machinery. Do not take Lunesta with alcohol. Call your doctor right away if after taking Lunesta you walk, drive, eat or engage in other activities while asleep."

I would like to point your attention to the last part of this disclaimer that states if you WALK, DRIVE, EAT OR ENGAGE IN OTHER ACTIVITIES (eating brains, moaning, senseless killing) WHILE ASLEEP you should talk to your doctor. I think I've seen this movie before, its called resident evil. This is proof that drug companies are secretly turning us into Zombies during the dark hours of the night. Free to roam the streets feeding on unsuspecting teenagers, dogs, cats, etc. My in-laws have "coyotes" in their back yard that keep feeding on the neighborhood pets yet no coyote has been trapped to date. My mother in law has been telling us how she has been sleeping so well lately. I think we should check her medicine cabinet for some little blue pills. In the mean time I'm sleeping with a chain saw under my bed.

The Evolution of Man

I don't think an introduction is necessary. If you want to know who I am you may go to my wife's blog at theadventuresofbb.blogspot.com. She has it all there and she makes me sound much better than I really am. Except maybe the post where she rats me out to the public about being born a bat. Check it out. Its pretty funny.


So on with whats important. What is this blog going to be about. Me of course. However, my life, at least to me isn't interesting enough to create an entire blog so I will mix it up with the strange happenings of the world and hopefully I can come up with something useful to write. Snippets of me and the world we live in. That's what you will find here. So with my first post I leave you a picture on my theory of the "evolution of man." That said, I'm going to go find something to eat. I'll see you later